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I refused to let my parents visit me for my 40th birthday.
The legitimate reason as that Dad is disabled and the journey is too long
The reason I gave was that I still wasn’t over calling them out over favouritism when I stayed with them over Christmas.
The actual reason is that even before Christmas I had decided I would celebrate the big 40 by hiring an escort to finally lose my virginity.
Good for you, I hope you had fun!
You know, I did. Escorts are so good at emotional labour, and I was pretty down. She absolutely made my day.
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What’s the difference between legitimate reason and actual reason? Aren’t those two secret reasons that you kept from your parents?
A legitimate reason is one not based on my own emotions, but on concern for my dad. (And to be clear, the bus journey really is a long, gruelling slog when you’re able-bodied. Dad shouldn’t be doing it).
The actual reason is why I genuinely didn’t want to see them.
Your emotions are legitimate.