My step mother was a merchandiser for American Greetings back in the 80’s and 90’s. I was the Easter bunny at a promotional event once.

That suit was a torture chamber. A fluffy iron maiden. The inside smelled of people desperate for air that was not fetid with their own evaporated sweat.

But, a bunch of cheerleaders from my school sat on my lap… Seventeen year old me consider that an even exchange.