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There’s a fantastic paper from a while ago that did a great job of covering what you’re getting at. It’s one of the most cited papers in password security research. Basically, everything we’ve ever found sucks but passwords seem to suck the least. Great read if you have the time - https://www.cl.cam.ac.uk/techreports/UCAM-CL-TR-817.pdf
That is a damn nice paper, thanks for sharing that! The comparison table is, if a little wacky-looking at first glance, a pretty great overview. I skimmed it for the abstract and conclusion but now I think it’s worth reading it in full.