I got half a valium when I had my last surgery. I was super jittery. I remember the nurse giving me this tiny half-pill and thinking “That ain’t gonna do shit” 30 minutes later, as they’re wheeling me into the theatre, I’m smiling up at everyone and thinking " Hey, you know what’s great? Everything. Everything is so damn wonderful."

Then I woke up normal again and vomited on a nurse.