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asking what they want is for kids that have no purchasing power, for adults is more fun to take the risk and surprise each other
At this point I have all the things I want or need. I’d much rather have experiences
Then the gift could be one such experience to surprise you with
That’s the idea behind a good gift, it’s knowing the other person sufficiently to be able to know what they really would like, that they won’t get themselves/can’t justify it