I tell unfriendly cis people I’m female but I let them mistake me for male if it benefits me (my work is managing violent behaviors so some confused patients act better if they think I’m male).

I tell friendly cis people and especially children “kinda both kinda neither.”

I tell lgbt people “what’re you the Cops?” or “that’s proprietary information and and I don’t have a copy of the NDA form on me.”

And my answer to the pronoun question is “what you call me when I’m not here is none of my business.”

I guess if I had to pick one it’d probably be ‘it’ because I’ve always wanted to be the weird side character probably something like a janitor or something except you’re not entirely sure I’m human and I show up once per book / season, easily fix exactly one (1) problem, then completely disappear again.

The euphemism treadmill is particularly annoying in psychiatry. People keep using useful diagnostic labels as mean names for people they don’t like then in an attempt to be respectful of the people we serve we use a different diagnostic label but then everybody has to learn and start using the new diagnostic label and by the time it reaches saturation it’s already an insult again.

Functional, but we’re going to have to turn one of these unhatched eggs into a new set of genitals eventually.

Not even just corn. Also all the ticks, ants, and other pest insects in the yard, and possibly even some of your food waste. They literally turn trash and straight up pests into food.

Also most serial killers don’t want to talk to the police. They just wanna be left alone to torture and murder people nobody will care to look for like teenage runaways working as truck stop prostitutes. The bonus is that if you’re a long haul trucker that frequently crosses state lines, there’s a low likelihood that the couple of police departments who even bother to try solving those crimes will ever actually talk to each other enough to compare evidence (this is an actual theory of something that might be happening).

imma move to this dude’s country and stop working.

Yeah I’ve given a footjob before. It was neither exciting nor disgusting to me but the dude loved it so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Interestingly one of the few times I ever got pulled over was when I was on my way back from helping someone with yardwork and had my hair bundled up in a scarf so it didn’t get nasty. It was so weird the cop actually apologized for pulling me over then drove off really suddenly. I definitely grew up in one of ‘those’ areas so I think he really did pull me over and was like ‘wait shit you’re white abort ABORT’ which is so funny because like. I just do what works culture means very little to me.

Oh hey that’s the main way men get eating disorders!