I love that this does not narrow it down at all

True on the measurability but to me its a concept that explains a lot of social behaviour. The following is my current understanding of it. It of cause has a lot of root causes playing together, like internalized / toxic shame, fears, self doubt, socialization etc.

Depending on the framework, it can be Interpreten differently i think: Overcompensation (big ego) or surrender (small ego) are modes we slip into and both are part of a fragile ego which means low selfesteem. And also low confidense.

Being and accepting myself is high selfesteem and means a stable ego and high/realsitic confidense. Or also realistic self image.

I thing understanding and recognising those behaviours in oneself is helfpul to reach a stable ego but they are a very generalized view and can habe many causes. So it only helps a bit to recognize ones own patterns but its not possible to improve the selfesteem etc by working on selfesteem, as its just a symptom.

I think to improve selfesteem we have to gain proficiency and confidense in multiple fields by repetition and training which will spread to other areas. We habe to overcome our shame and fear by facing them and being open about it. And learn that people are different and that is beautiful becsuse everyone will find their tribe.

I partially agree. Depression has nothing to do with logic and Depression is kind a Symptom of messed up brain or hormones i think. People dont decide to be depressed.

And i would like to throw in the theory that high and low selfesteem does not really exist, but rather stabile and fragile ego. People with high or low self esteem tend to struggle with critic and be defensive or tend to feel bad about themselves. But that is gross generalisation and fragile/stable ego makes a lot more sense to me

I thoughts netbird is a tailscale alternative? How can you use it ober tailscale? So 2 layers of VPN?

So my setup rigjt now:

• vps with headscale
• all devices connect to it
• in my home lab a vm running a tailscale client and a reverse proxy with a Wildcard cert
• all other services run as their own VMS and the proxy routes to them
• i have a dmz (not yet public) running a proxy with tailscale again for a different domain
• dmz runs a authentik vm which i use for access controll and user management
• backup Server connects to tailscale as well and proxmox pushes zfs snapshots every day

My long term goal is to move to pangolin as a reverse proxy on the vps and tailscale alternative and remove tailscale, as i find its very battery inefficient on Android (no subnet Router etc).

So i just give people access to the VPN and send them an authentik invite and thats it. With pangolin i dont even have to give them a VPN access anymore, it can be done via authentik i think.

A vps is 3-6€ and the tailscale standard is 10€ so its even cheaper, but a bit more setup to maintain. But it allows a ton of users :) so i guess this would be the smallest change with the highest impact

Authentik is nice to have but a pain to set up as the oicd stuff can be tricky. Immich was super ez, nextcloud was OK, docspell was a pain and ocis does not work with authentik becsuse they use different architectures for sso. (Ocis and authentik are a bit dumb here)