One Christmas I asked for the neon green relish for Christmas. My cool bil (who ran a hot dog stand) sent me a big assjar. Hell yeah.

You would

is it a specific local code violation or a state thing? because it can’t possibly be a federal violation, i am certain it ain’t a federal permit.

when i search for [my town] + [solicitation] i get a bunch of pages on how to make a bid on projects with the town. but i have the high.

HOW ABOUT AN ASS TATTOO THATS REAL BIG

edit shit i was trying to do the little type thingy

is it specifically mr frog or mr toad? because that sounds really cool. i am getting a picture in one of my brains

i love those negative spirits. brew them with lemon balm, rosemary, and lavender and they become delightful spirits.

i’ve got those tannis inserts and i somehow got a flat directly through the thick part of the insert last month. i blame my vile sister in law who was visiting. my wife’s bike got a flat while we weren’t riding somehow too.

ps my cat says t n mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

pps i really should have gotten y’all’s input before buying generic orange tyres last week. they’re orange tho!

i’ve got 20 and 24 inchers and i live in goats head country. i cannot keep them inflated for the life of me. I am this close to just putting solid rubber blocks on my wheels

too many pylons, not enough struts

the caulk aisle is the best aisle in the hardware store. get to buy some thicker, fatter caulk.

our community got its officers out on the streets on halloween and we’ve had far fewer incidents.

hard to tell whether this is part of the underlying trend toward less crime or a result of that specific action, as i’m not a crimeologist, but when i smell correlations shit i point at it.

we’re talking about caulk dude

ooo, i bet i could fit like three of those backpacks into the crate of my cargo bike. caulking aside (and who doesn’t love talking about good caulk), that is giving me pest control ideas. also croissant or pancake ideas for some reason i don’t know why we’d need that kind of wand but i know why we’d need that much liquid butter/batter.

is there a specific name for those backpack containers or are they just “backpack jugs”

i don’t think i need to.

by the time i make it out to destroy them, the high schoolers will have destroyed them already.

as we have said before, the kids are alright. the flock camera out by the unofficial kids’ rifle shooting range by the tracks is always full of holes. on halloween i’m sure that’s going to be all of them around the county (these kids got minibikes)

<3 :3

pay attention after your next (first?) colonoscopy. they pump you full of air and most of it comes out the same direction it came in.

just don’t hold it. my mother was feeling too dainty to fart (we had back to back colonoscopies with the same gastro. even did the prep together. what a bonding experience) so she ended up with trapped gas. and then did not get enough dilaudid and only got to the gut clench phase of the drug and ended up in more pain.

then she farted the long fart and all was right in the world again. but her gut was still clenched from the drug so it was not so pleasant.

they found some very small old people.

i could add one to my trike. think of the luxury.

Shit now I’m thinking bout it

Yo I want to eat those cans send them my way