Brendan “Fatso” Fraser was such a terrible actor in The Whale, you could really tell he had one hand in a KFC bucket at all times. I’d much rather watch my favorite actor Dwayne “The Rock-Solid” Johnson muscle the emotions off the screen with his giant Johnson. Muscle is discipline and discipline is good acting, it is known.

I don’t think the shut-in believes it’s normal or okay to be a shut-in. It’s a feeling of complete failure to fit in and isolating as a result. The longer the shut-in is ostracized (or keeping themself ostracized), the stronger the feeling becomes that they do not fit in, they will never fit in, if there was ever an opportunity to fit in they surely missed it now. Being a 38 year old shut-in is actually very believable to me,it isn’t exactly a situation that challenges your beliefs or motivates you to change.

Sure, it’s harsh to put this all on enabling parents, but you also don’t get to 38 without enabling. You don’t leave the “last resort” on the table for 10-15 years. The very long list should be exhausted within 2 years and one of the options should be a therapist specialized in shut-ins. Beyond that, you’ll just have to hope and pray that one day something clicks in that brain and they start taking charge of their own life.

Most high school kids are already more influenced by their peers than their parents. Once you’re an adult actual parental influence is almost nil if the child wants it to be.

You’re talking about kids who wouldn’t become shut-ins anyway. If you’re bullied in high school and drop out at 16, the only “peer” influence is the trauma. Not that I experienced anything like that ;_;

I’d start with making them understand that independence is good for everyone involved. Then small steps towards independence, starting with a simple part-time job. The important part here is that they see more people than just their direct family, to show them the different ways people can function in society.

If this works out, help them identify some personal goals. The hard part of being a shut-in is that you have no agency over your life, so you give up on all your goals. Once you have a little agency, you can start finding goals again. Simple ones at first: saving up some emergency funds, getting a driver’s license, making a weekend trip to get out of the house for a couple nights.

Also assuming they are classic shut-ins and not caretaker-type shut-ins: learning how to take care of the household, cooking, developing skills around the house. It’s low barrier to entry, they are already in the house after all.

Source: was a NEET for 5 years