I often say “earballs” instead of ears (because it’s funny and I’m weird), and I’m annoyed these fuckers are stealing my bit.
Some clever bastard figured out an exploit (buoyancy) and humanity has just been going ham on god’s plan of creating utopia since. He’s just been trying to come up with ways to wipe humanity without a full reset since and the fuckers keep out-engineering and out-breeding his efforts.
Sooner or later he’s going to have to eat crow and reconcile with the god of Jupiter or with Sol to either fling a big rock from the asteroid belt or send a giant solar flare. It’s a hard sell, though. After bragging for so long about creating life, both are a little sick of Terra. Besides, they kind of like that more of Terra’s insane little creations revere them than revere Terra.
A few winters ago, my wife and I took edibles and then like a half hour noticed some weird movement on our porch.
It was a 13 year old who had run away from home and snuck onto our porch. She was attempting to stay warm by huddling under the dog blankets we keep out there.
After a short delay (figuring out what the hell was going on), we called the police. They arrived as the edibles were hitting and we had to keep our shit together while trying to talk to the cops about this kid that randomly appeared.
I counted his fingers. Not because I thought the image was AI, but because the fetal alcohol face and the shirt made me wonder if he had the right amount.