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Joined 4 months ago
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Cake day: April 19th, 2026

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  • When I was in uni a friend with benefits lured me back to her flat with promises of food when I was drunk and hungry, then dragged me straight to the bedroom despite me protesting I still was hungry. She had some furry handcuffs on the headboard so I handcuffed her to the bed, walked to the kitchen, made a sandwich, and then came back and sat on a chair right next to her while I ate it. The sandwich was mediocre, but the taste of victory was divine. She said I was “bad at BDSM”, but I’m pretty sure I got the bondage and sadism bits down fine.






  • Worked in a restaurant as a teen, in a kitchen that opened onto the bar area, so the head chef was working directly next to where customers entered. The head chef specifically requested this set up because he liked to talk and customers gave him more people to talk to, but it also gave the rest of us a front row view of complainers getting ripped apart. I watched him spend 10 minutes in the middle of service picking every scrap out meat out of a pasta dish and pile it into a roughly steak shape to prove to a whiny customer there was plenty of beef in her dish.
    Anyway, the really good ones where when people responded that they knew/would complain to the owner, as he’d call “the owner” then dramatically overact answering his own phone and having a conversation with himself about if he knew them. I’ve heard he’s started doing a stupid double act with his daughter now she works there, but only sporadically visit now so I haven’t been able to see it.