Just like you, except different.

  • 4 Posts
  • 43 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
cake
Cake day: September 22nd, 2024

help-circle








  • I definitely have both. Before 2016, my anti-depressive medication did an amazing job.

    But then there was an election in the US, and that one day made me realize just how fucked we all were in a profound, unmitigatable way. I never looked at the people in my country the same way again, I never looked at the political system the same way again, and my perpetual-hopefulness for the world was completed crushed.

    I know some people will say that’s overly-dramatic, but those people clearly hadn’t been paying attention or connecting the dots. I knew immediately when that election was called that there would be no peaceful way back. All this fascism and violence was written on the wall that day. To be able to recognize the patterns forming, but lacking the ability to stop it (and even being called “alarmist” for pointing it out), meant being stuck in a perpetual feeling of helplessness. It’s been 10 years, shit’s played out just as I feared it would, and the only sliver of hope I’ve seen ever since was the rise of Mamdani in NYC. However, awesome as that is, it’s just not enough to lift me up anymore.

    I also know I’m not alone. We are collectively traumatized, there’s no other way to put it. It’s going to take a long time for us to heal (if we’re able to at all.) The worst part is, this was all done on purpose. Those in charge of the Republican party absolutely, 100% wanted us to feel this way - Project 2025 proved it.

    Then there’s the non-political stuff that I didn’t predict, adding insult to injury. Like a network of cameras being installed everywhere, and gen AI furthering the confusion between reality and fantasy. Oh, and that whole year where the world shut down due to a disease, which was more bizarre than anything I could’ve expected on that first election day.

    Anyway, you’re right, there’s no amount of nature walks or breathing exercises that can resolve the perpetual stress so many of us are under. I don’t want to be a “doomer” but how the fuck am I supposed to not feel doomed? Even if I didn’t look around and try to understand the world, there’s my own empty wallet, grocery stores full of disease-infected food, all the clothing available is shit quality that starts to unravel before being worn (so it has to be purchased more frequently), and the never-ending bills that get higher even when our wages stay the same. It’s not like we’re working hard in order to eventually get relief; we’re just working hard today in order to survive to work harder tomorrow. There’s no end in sight.

    Everything truly sucks and now I daily contemplate things that I never thought I would have before, even with my anti-depressants.






  • The amount of weed I smoke. Teenage-me was still in the process of deprogramming from D.A.R.E. propaganda. She wouldn’t have expected to become a full-blown stoner in her 30s.

    I’ve always had a strong memory, and unfortunately it feeds into my anxiety and depression. Weed definitely impacts my memory, but it’s a benefit - normally, all the stupid little things of the day would torture me. I’d be overanalyzing every word I said, worrying over social mistakes that nobody else even remembers happening. It’s a mental process that only serves to hurt me, and that I raw-dogged sober for most of my life. Weed lets me break that cycle, change my focus, and not remember all the dumb little details that don’t actually matter, but that would otherwise keep me awake at night.

    As a teen, I would’ve struggled to understand that there could be benefits to marijuana. She would’ve just thought the self-torture was normal. Life’s weird like that sometimes.


  • Middle and high school are full of stupid misconceptions about girls. In my middle school, people believed that if you wore black panties, it meant you’re DTF. The boys also thought that if a girl’s nipples were hard, it meant she was turned on. No amount of saying, “Bruh, it’s just winter,” or asking why boys’ nipples don’t get hard when they’re horny, would change their minds.

    It all really boils down to - some boys will grasp at anything to confirm their belief that a girl is interested in sex.