palordrolap

What’s the cactus done to deserve that?

It looks like Clickhole either deleted or moved that article earlier this year at some point in 2025. And if they moved it, they didn’t update their link in their “best of 2018” post from 2024.

They’re also still selling the t-shirt with the headline quote on it.

Anyway, here’s an archive.org link: https://web.archive.org/web/20250517005853/https://clickhole.com/heartbreaking-the-worst-person-you-know-just-made-a-gr-1825121606/

Yeah, I know it matches the description of one of those. I’m very glad it wasn’t one of the chest-sitters.

I’ve told this story before.

I cannot fall asleep on my back. Or rather, I find it incredibly difficult to do so.

One night, I was dead tired and laid on my back as I normally do to get the bed warm before turning on a side to try to sleep, and I began to drift off.

It was at that point I became aware of the dark shapeless form about as tall as a person stood at the side of my bed. The room was dark. It was darker.

I made a very weird “oo-er” noise, roused myself and it melted into the regular darkness.

I didn’t feel at all threatened by it, and assume it was my mind playing tricks, but it was definitely creepy and unwelcome.