So as they’re contemplating the existence of a Cars Jesus, I find myself what kind of car Jesus was. There were no motor vehicles in that time so was Jesus a cart? Were Jesus and his vehicular disciples pulled around by ox or were they self propelled? Were the Roman soldiers chariots? And the cross - how does that work, I mean logistically? Which of Cart Jesus’s appendages would be appropriate to nail to a board in order to bring about death? And I’m not even at the point where I dare speculate on what Cars God is even like.

Edit: Was there a Cars Bud Dwyer?