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Worked for me. Never officially diagnosed, but I know I’m neurospicy because my son was assessed and I tick basically every same box as him.
Can’t stop the people pleasing, it’s the only reason I don’t have 0 people left in my life. I already don’t have any friends.
It’s seeming to me more and more that the only way I’ll ever get diagnosed is by having a child. Is this some sort of sick joke?
I got good grades in school (well, except for math) and I still got diagnosed. Jokes on… me?
I went into biology to avoid the worst of the chemistry math, and still ended up taking calculus, organic chem, ext… Then went medical… At least I mostly only do unit conversion and proportions I have memorized now, and use computers for most things.
Spending a lifetime pushing through suspected but undiagnosed dyscalculia is tiresome. Friggin transposition errors… (Probably some type of Semantic Memory or Procedural subtype).
stops people pleasing
Everyone, in unison: “Whsts with the attitude?”
You have to be in a position where people are dependent on you and not the other way around. For a lot of people that’s not possible.
I’m lucky enough to be in this position and getting to squarely tell people they’re wrong on a regular basis without masking is incredibly freeing.
I’ve been saying this for years.
A kid who can kick a ball or swim fast gets coaches who help guide them and make sure they are well adjusted.
A kid can get all A’s and never get a drop of guidance.
When I was in elementary school, I was kinda mad at how the kids who struggled with school always had some kind of reward when they achieved anything. Meanwhile, if you didn’t have any trouble, you got nothing out of it :(
When I was a kid, I’d usually get As or B’s. This other kid told me whenever he got an A, he’d get $20 each. I said to my mom, “why don’t I get anything for my As?”
She said, “Because [other kid] is kind of stupid, so it’s a big deal when he gets one”
This was not a satisfying answer.
I also remember in late middle school, we were in the computer lab (I’m old) given a sort of free form assignment to do something for whatever book we’d read. I made a basic little game in BASIC (I’m still old). Some kid wrote the book title in WordArt. The teacher gushed over it, and I got a “that’s nice” for my fully operational game. Infuriating. Had a huge impact on my respect for authority and academic career, probably more than warranted.
My therapist tried to make me see the teacher’s point of view. Kyle was always fucking up and off task, so rewarding him when he’s not a fuckup for once must have felt like a big payoff. But I was always good, and she didn’t really understand what I was going on about, so she didn’t engage with it.
For a long time, I was a middling student. 65-75% grades, with the occasional 80 in something I was interested in. It’s unbelievable how much that limits you when you want to go further, or apply for a bursary or the like.
Part of it for me, was that I was slotted in the lower stream/special needs stream during high school. This was largely because I was bored to tears in school, had a ton of home drama going on at that time.
I did a pile of upgrading, and ended up graduating with 150 of the 100 credits needed. I managed to get accepted into a smaller collage, transfer to the university, I wasn’t exceptional at really anything until my 4th year of B.Sc., where the specialized topics came in and I could fill my boots. I worked hard, though, which was all I really had going for me.
I pulled up my socks enough to get into grad school, and welp, here I am 10 years later (15 years experience in my field) doing what I set out to do.