I know this is gonna sound like the “Where exactly, so I can avoid it” meme, but I’m sincerely trying to avoid it.
I am pretty physically active, and get massage every six months or so. I have a massage therapist I usually go to, but every once in a while it’s an emergency and my go-to is booked up, so I get a sketchy strip mall massage.
About half the time it ends with a happy ending attempt. Not that I’m against the concept, but I refuse to pay for sexual contact on principle. Also that cuts into the time spent on the actual massage I came in for, and pressures me into a huge tip for something I don’t actually want.
At the same time, I don’t want to assume. It seems pretty rude to start off with “I know you’re gonna wanna give me a handjob but I’m not interested”. So is there some kind of standard “initiation” ritual that I can turn down when it comes up?
I tense up if other people touch me. I can get a massage without being white knuckled these days, but I can’t imagine actually wanting to touch another person.
I used to be jealous of it, like when my coworkers at summer camp were comfortable laying next to each other and partly on each other in a cuddle pile on a couch, just in a platonic non-sexual, but close way. But i was new and didn’t know what to do.
For me, the skin to skin contact feels nice, relaxing, close, safe.
I can imagine not wanting to touch another person, because i get those moods too, especially with strangers or people where the social context is unclear. But it is really nice for me when it’s the right place and time and people.