Know a guy.
I am the guy with the truck.
The truck is proof that Americans can and will accept socialism.
It’s brocialism.
The crazy part is it doesn’t matter who you voted for, everyone on both sides would generally love to help their neighbor and would offer a hand. It’s just when people get involved in the macro sense that they get filled with hate and anger. Makes me sad. Let’s just all move couches.
Conservatives are often nice to people they know. The in-group. The problem is when it’s a scary other. So they’ll let Jose couch surf for a week while he sorts out his housing situation, because he’s a good guy down on his luck, but they’ll rage against Those People getting anything.
That’s my understanding too. It’s like empathy just ends at one’s own line of sight. If I can’t see it or touch it, there may be something wrong with it. It’s infuriating.
Can we do that without the latent ableism that comes along with it, like the idea that if you can’t help people move couches then you don’t deserve anyone else’s help either?
This especially effects people with invisible disabilities, who are already viewed as lazy, but who also might be the most helpless when it comes to moving their own furniture.
I think it’s kind of ablist to assume a disabled person has nothing of value to offer, like if they can’t move a couch then they are excluded. “Moving a couch” could be anything, it could be filing taxes or cooking a meal. Disabled people are good at stuff too. I think it’s really weird for you to make this assumption.
Honestly it’s both. Plenty of people with disabilities have plenty to offer. A lot actually don’t though, and they still deserve that helping hand.
A family aquatintance has some mental and physical disabilities. They’re just not going to be able to help in any way that isn’t superficial. And that’s okay. Their worth isn’t defined by their utility.Attaching how worthwhile it is to help someone to their ability to provide a service inherently says the person who can’t isn’t worthy of help.
We should be good to people because it’s the right thing to do, not out of the expectation of a future repayment. More pragmatically, we should help based on the assumption that the other person would, and that if everyone acted like that the world would be better.
I think the other person read a bit much into it, but their base point isn’t wrong.
Thank you! You phrased it better than I could.
I find it wild that most people here can’t see through their own assumptions. Like, everyone else needs to examine their own biases. Not them though, they could never be biased. It shows such a lack of self-awareness on their part.
My dad had a prosthetic leg, and he bristled at some of the polite or accepting ways that people would talk about disability in a way that stuck with me because he explained it. Basically a dislike of “handicapable” or the notion that you “make up for it” in other ways. To paraphrase: “getting my foot cut off in a car accident didn’t come with some perk that balanced things out”.
I think a lot of the pushback you got came not from a place of rejecting that they could have a bias, but from the topic being broached as a confrontation of bias instead of an explanation of ignorance.
People, like the poster above, who are being conscientious according to their understanding will get indignant or frustrated when that’s met with an unmatched response.Assuming positive intent colors implicit “positive abelism”, or other “positive -isms” that I’m personally less knowledgeable about, as unfamiliarity or ignorance rather than callousness or rudeness.
In those cases, the person is very unlikely to disagree or pushback if informed about their blind spot. The key part in their head was “disabled people are just as important”, sitting right next to “good people chip in and contribute”. So they respond to “disabled people can’t always contribute” with “disabled people are important!” phrased as "disabled people can contribute!”.Addressing it as a bias against disabled people doesn’t fit because that part is correct. Need to address it at where the problem is: a misconception about the relationship between human worth, labor and utility.
Kevin and Tony would definitely move a sofa for a person with disabilities. No doubt in my mind. They’d still expect pizza and beer tho, that’s non-negotiable.
Okay well what about when they ask that person later if they’ll help move Tony’s fridge? Like this un-negotiated yet obligatory repayment. If you say “sorry, I can’t” then they’ll immediately lose respect for you, and probably tell everyone they know not to help you in the future. Even if you explain that you have a condition that prevents you, if that condition isn’t visible to them they’ll think you’re just selfish and making excuses.
Also, are you willing to guarantee that Kevin and Tony aren’t racist or homophobic? Are you willing to guarantee they would help move a sofa for someone who’s gay or black? This is about more than just disabilities.
This is about “good ole boy” culture and relying on the benevolence and altruism of people who likely as not only care about helping people they view as a part of their in-group. And if you think that’s not a real problem in america, then you must not live here because it’s literally all over the place here.
A.k.a. community
"What if we had a system where people could get the assistance they need. We could call it… Communityism.
But see, it’s not fair if people just get what they need! You need to make sure people are paying for it!
We can make it part of the system that each person gets help according to their needs, but each person also gives help according to their abilities. Yes yes. This is now definitely capitalism because it’s transactions.
This is now definitely capitalism because it’s transactions.
Capitalism has nothing to do with transactions. Capitalism would be if the truck was owed by Benny, who would not show up, not fill it up with gas, not repair it, but would still receive half of pizza and 2/3 of beer.
You are correct that I was not describing capitalism.
I was participating in the silly by creeping closer to full communism and still saying it’s something else.And I’m not sure why Benny would only get half and 2/3s respectively. They owned the truck, so they’re the one that did the moving. The others are just employees.
I miss work for trade…
You just took care of a guy and when the time came, he took care of you.
“Today you… Tomorrow me…”
You just took care of a guy and when the time came, he took care of you.
I mean, thats just how it still is in my village. It does not seem to be a particularly endangered way of living and rather the norm in rural areas.
Fyi, if you are moving one piece of furniture, sure get the truck guy and a couple buddies. If you are moving ALL your stuff, hire movers. (Unless you and your buddies are in their 20s)
There’s a point in your life where “all your stuff” is maybe two non-IKEA pieces of furniture that your parents forced on you when you moved out. And then there’s the point at which “all your stuff” fills a 1600 sqft ranch house and half of it is made out of granite for some reason.
Just, baseline, ignore the meme. If you have to move a refrigerator down a flight of stairs, this is no longer a “buy me a pizza” tier work.
Moving a fridge down a flight of stairs is easy enough – who’s your dolly guy?
If you are moving ALL your stuff, hire movers.
In my experience, that’s what Dad is for.
It starts with Dad moving you to and from dorm rooms. Then apartments.
When my wife and I moved to our house I hired movers. It was a lot easier and not terribly expensive.
When my wife moved her business to a new building, my mom told me my dad insisted on helping us move, so I didn’t hire movers as I had planned. When we were moving the tons of furniture, cabinets, and massive boxes stuffed full of files, my dad mentioned that my mom told him I had asked him to help me move. I have never been able to determine why my mom manipulated us into nearly killing ourselves.
Now I’m the dad. I’ve moved kids to and from dorm rooms and apartments. I’ve rented trucks for huge moves. My daughter and I are moving a couch, a dresser, an end table and all her cooking utensils on Saturday.
Not only do I have a truck, I also have straps, furniture dollies, moving blankets, mattress bags, etc.
My most recent purchase was a shoulder dolly. If you haven’t seen one, picture two harnesses with a wide strap running between them. Two people squat on either end of the item being moved with the wide strap running under it. You take up the slack in the strap, and just stand up to lift it off the ground. It’s a game changer.
I’ve become my own moving company.
You are the exception, and bless you. Yea shoulder dollies are cool as hell, I only know cause I hired movers a time or two.
Youd get along with my older brother. He is also a one man moving company, even having worked for moving companies and having his own side hustle as a mover/guy with truck/guy with plastic wrap and dollies etc. Id use him when moving, but when it comes to chores he is a fuckin nazi ill never ask him unless its important.
If the guys that frequently move furniture describe you are “strong for your size”, that is a powerful compliment.
This was surprisingly funny and surprisingly positive for something to do with Americans.
Most of us are just regular, friendly people who are glad to help out if needed. There are pockets of shit people who thrive on hate, but that’s true for any country.
They’re pretty godamn loud too
Would Kevin and Tony offer to move fridge for a black guy though? Bet you can’t say for sure.
Having been someone’s Kevin and/or Tony in this country, they could be green and have antennae. They’re a neighbor, they need a couch moved, and I happen to have nothing to do today. This is the code.
Americans are a very friendly people, all things considered. The whole smiling at everyone you see, helping out strangers for fun thing is not universal. Thus, this post.
My partner is from America, and visited Australia for two weeks to see Me. We spent two weeks going on dates together, visiting cool places like the museum, the zoo, a local pirate bar, a book shop. My partner says Australians are much friendlier than Americans and we smile more.
There are a lot of ‘good cunts’ in Aussie, for sure.
Its tricky when grumpy or upset but that’s a human thing - often they’re better at expressing it
(Bear in mind, this is all coming from a kiwi male - I’m scared of my feelings or expressing stuff generally)
I could believe it. It’s not that it’s unique to America, or anything. But like I’ve read stories about Dutch people for instance thinking Americans on public transportation were simple, due to all the smiling and the like.
Ignore religion, politics, and hard drugs and this is just normal.
That ending was damn near wholesome. Also I think my favorite part of the whole thing was “the pizza is not negotiable.”
it’s hard to remember that the average person is a human just like yourself
As an american, I think it’s toxic positivity because it ignores all the invisible social rejects who live on the margins of society and don’t have the type of community support that makes this possible.
The OOP happened to luck out and knew some nice people and also happened to be accepted by those people as someone who’s worth helping.
The same Kevin might be a completely different person when he drives through a city and sees a homeless person struggling to move a tent with all his possessions…
This is the way.
You engage in the economy of helping people to move stuff. One person has a dolly, another has a truck, they come, they move the thing, you pay in pizza and at least one IOU of “I’ll be there for you next time”.
When the time comes you are enlisted, you go, you help, you recieve pizza.
The cycle continues.
This is the way.
This is the only way.
I fucking love these.
My favorite is the Waffle House: https://wandering-nobunaga.com/stories/a-waffle-house-at-three-in
There is more?! Thank you for linking this!
Non-toxic Masculinity
Except women also have those connections.
The price may be different, like a baby blanket for their neice.
Men doing something negative is readily called toxic masculinity. Men doing something positive however can’t be non-toxic masculinity because women do something similar but different…
Is it really that hard for you to admit that masculinity can be associated with positive things?
All the virtues associated with manhood in the 1970s and 1980s turned into general adulting in the 1990s and aughts.
In 2026, what it is to be a man is asserted by social media personalities like Matt Walsh, Ben Shapiro, Joe Rogan, the Tate brothers. The conversation on masculinity is dominated by the manosphere on social media and far-right television.
Expressions of manhood are on full display when Josh Hokit disparages Michelle Obama, when Trump intervenes in the world cup to cancel a red card and lift the one game penalty on Folarin Balogun. Or when US Representative Max Miller doubles down on his innocence in a video making common DV gaslighting arguments in the face of credible abuse allegations, on the presumption that his MAGA base won’t care and will still vote for him.
Masculinity in 2026 is demonstrated when you discharge your strength in malice or cruelty or bad taste to show the world you are beyond the reach of consequences, or do not care what consequences occurr.
But sure. I’m AMAB and have been criticized for half a century for being inadequately masculine. I’ve been repeatedly bullied and disregarded because I’m a wuss or a wimp. But I’m still game. I’m still open to an argument:
Tell me of a positive human trait that is particular to men that is not also expected of women by our society?
I’m not saying good men don’t exist. To the contrary, there are plenty. But I am saying what makes them good is not a feature of their masculinity, rather it’s a feature of being a functional adult in a (rapidly deteriorating) liberal society.
Tell me of a positive human trait that is particular to men that is not also expected of women by our society?
Tell me of a positive human trait that is particular to women that is not also expected of men by our society.
Ultimately there are things that men tend to do that are positive and there are things that men tend to do that are negative. This post is an example of the former.
In other words, you’re over-complicating things because a handful of jackasses want to redefine what being a man is, and you declare that because they exist there cannot be anything (left) that is masculine. That makes no sense and is caving to their whims.
That handful of jackasses dominate social media in contrast to their opposition counterparts, and it’s creating a public divide between the sexes, hence the 4B movement and the choose the bear thought experiment.
I don’t know to what degree this factors into the observable trend that zoomers are having less sex and less romance than prior generations at their age. (I’m sure the affordability crisis is a major factor.) But in the US in 2026, our exemplars of masculinity are demonstrating they are entirely transactional and only understand the power of brute force.
And it’s going to be a long, long time before stereotypes of masculinity change for the better.
Feel free to set a counterexample. Plenty of men do. And we need more of them. But when they do, they’re not demonstrating what it is to be a man. They’re demonstrating what it is to be a functional adult in a cooperative society.
I also think society gender roles should be abolished, and that every gender identity (including non-binary ones) should be respected.
You’ll have no disagreement from me that there’s far more profit - and a resulting niche of people capitalizing on that - in teaching kids how to be masculine in a toxic way.
My point is it simply doesn’t follow that all forms of masculinity are toxic any more than all art is AI because AI art is on the massive rise.
Some people just hate men and can barely contain that. They may not even know it themselves.
I don’t hate men, but masculinity is a millstone.
There’s a difference.
Elaborate, because your eagle-eye poetic view just seems like a rewording of misandry.
Men are fine. Masculinity in 2026 as an ideology or a cultural institution is a problem.
Men exist in concerning numbers who submit to the manosphere logic, who follow the far-right influencers I’ve mentioned, who vote R because letting the libs win is effeminate. And curiously, conservative, tradwife-minded women don’t like them much either.
Manhood as expressed in media isn’t much better, with scriptwriters diegetically presuming the alpha male model is a valid theory. (It’s been debunked even for wolves.)
There are plenty of men who do not submit to these notions, and generally they tend to not be concerned about expressing their manhood or being seen as inadequately masculine. They are more concerned about being adult or being functional than being manly.
Men are fine. Masculinity in 2026 as an ideology or a cultural institution is a problem.
Is this more or less stating “Men are fine as long as they aren’t masculine?”
You’re going to have to define what “man” “woman” “masculine” and “feminine” are in your mind then, because that statement doesn’t logic with any of those definitions that I agree with; it’s like saying “water is fine as long as it contains no H2O.”
I am “the guy” at my kids’ schools. I love it. When they need a last minute volunteer for something, they know how to reach me.
Clay pigeon signal hits the night sky
Today would be my brother’s birthday, he was my truck guy (and so much more).
“would be”, “was” — am I to take this to mean that your brother is no longer with us? If so, I am sorry for your loss.
If I have intuited this correctly, then I hope that some day, you can be the “truck guy” for other people. The truck is optional honestly — just as long you carry with you the spirit of helpfulness and trust in reciprocal community support.
Yep you’re right, its the first year since a lung cancer got him, fuck cancer and fuck smoking.
He had a way to connect people that I just can’t, but I’ll try anyway. Thanks for the kind words.
“He had a way to connect people that I just can’t, but I’ll try anyway.”
Yeah, I feel you. I lost my best friend to COVID back in 2021. He was a charismatic whirlwind of a man, who seemed to exude an aura of safety and welcomingness. I’m a pretty loud person myself, so I would’ve never seen myself in the “sidekick” niche, but alongside a big personality such as him, it was a role I was happy to fill.
When he died, I had a moment of going “well damn. I thought I was going to be the inevitably doomed sidekick to his hero story. Does this mean I need to try ‘be the hero’? How the hell do I do that?”. The world needs energy like his now more than ever, so it feels like it’s my duty to learn from him and help fill the niche that he left behind. It’s a tricky job though, because I’ll never be able to be like him. I have made some progress in learning how to emulate the impact he had on the world but in a “me” way. If nothing else, trying to do this helps me feel closer to him, and helps me to grieve his absence.
It sounds like you’re facing a similar challenge. I wish you luck on that quest, and again, I’m sorry for your loss
IIRC, Japan_Nobunaga is a slop account.
Also extremely racist.
It’s been a blast to see the death of the internet as fraudsters pollute the world with books they hope to make a quick buck on and which they did not write themselves. Real fun. /s
No matter where you come from , once you can say “I know a guy” you’re an American.
Societies that run on favors are corrupt societies.
Societies that run on neighbours, friends, acquaintances, and that guy over there helping each other out in exchange for sharing pizza and beer afterwards are wholesome societies.
I think I didn’t say it how I meant to say it. I meant in a political sense, there’s no law, just who you know.
I think what you originally said makes sense in the strictest sense. Technically, not favors. The payment was pizza.
In Frieren, the main hero would always charge a “fee” even to the poorest people who needed help. Often at the cost of totally worthless items because “now they don’t owe me”. The transaction is complete, no furthur obligation. Even “token” fees are better than ambiguous favors imo. Thats where I usually charge the friend price of a meal for most of my services.
The American lower-working class economy is predominantly favor and goodwill-based, yes. Pain in the ass sometimes but also more fun imo. Community is important to keep alive.
Not just American. It’s poor people’s economy everywhere. American working class has more in common with working class in every other nation than American wealth class. The real division in the world is class division, everything else is distraction.
Also strongly depends on the community and your perceived level of acceptance within the community.
Anyone who’s ever been viewed as an outsider knows that it is not this simple unless you happen to fit in.
Yeah, small town community always sounds warm and fuzzy until you end up on the outside.
A while back, I knew of a family that moved into a house in the center of a town near where I grew up. A couple and two kids. The town had a big clock with a bell that rang hourly. Even in the dead of night. Right across the street from their house.
The family asked the town if they could silence the chimes between sunset and sunrise so that they and their kids could sleep. The town said no, the chimes are a local tradition.
The family then brought up state noise ordinances that the town’s clock was violating. The town still refused. So they petitioned the state, the state got involved, and made the town silence the clock at night. The locals threw a fit.
The family didn’t last long in their new house after that. But they were at least lucky enough to have the means to pack up and move somewhere else.
The less lucky are stuck. They get to spend the rest of their lives as the local “problem”. A skewed nail to be hammered down. I’ve known enough people where any utterance of their name is met with a cautionary “you shouldn’t associate with them”, even when it’s been so long that no one can tell you why. But it’s often the case that those are the people most worth knowing.
Thank you! So many people elsewhere in this comment section don’t seem to understand this.
And yeah, it could be over something so benign as that, or even more benign. But too many people assume that if someone is being ostracized, then they must have done something to deserve it. That’s not always the case though, especially in puritanical smalltown USA.
Some of these towns, if you’re not being ostracized by most of the people there, then something must be wrong with you, because there are places where you’ll be ostracized for not supporting maga or for believing in climate change or empathy.
This is why I’m saying we shouldn’t romanticize that “smalltown vibe,” because there absolutely is a dark side to it. But people are reacting with such hostility. Clearly they haven’t lived in the kind of area I’m talking about…
This is a wild concept for other cultures. Like, in Germany people will help you move. Your friends that is. Maybe a coworker or neighbour - if you even know any neighbour at all. That is all but a given here as well. But some random guy? Nah…
Oh and you absolutely have to rent a truck. I don’t know a single truck person. There is no such thing as having a truck, unless you need it for business. Long story short: I just paid a company >2k to move just one town over
This can absolutely also happen in a place like Germany. Yes, no one really has a truck for personal use (or rather a box truck), but you know a guy who knows a guy that has a truck for his business and doesn’t need it on the weekend, et voila. Maybe it’s not that extreme, but especially for ‘poorer’ working class people, helping out is still essential even in Germany.