OCRd for readability

Hey. Giving away the hot tub. It’s a 6 seater, paid $4,200 new in 2014, jets all still work, heater works mostly. You haul. It’s around 700 lbs empty, so you’ll want a trailer and at least three guys. There’s a spigot on the back left for draining.

One thing to know up front. The tub has developed preferences.

I’m not trying to mislead anyone so I’m being straight with you. Starting in early 2022 it started doing things. The jets on the north side, the side facing the house, shut off when my ex-wife Cheryl would get in. Not when anyone else got in. Just her. I had two repair guys out, both said nothing was wrong with the unit. The second guy said “sometimes appliances pick up on stuff” which I didn’t really process at the time.

By that summer she was barely using it. She said the water “felt judgmental.” I thought she was being dramatic. Then in October she sat down across from me in the tub and told me about Greg. The tub went completely still. No bubbles, no hum, the underwater light dimmed about halfway down. I’m not saying it reacted, I’m just telling you what happened in the order it happened.

After she moved out it came back to normal mostly. Bubbles are good, heat is good. But it will not warm past 98 degrees if a woman named Emma uses it. Doesn’t matter which Emma. My sister Emma, my neighbor Emma, and the Emma who delivered a package and asked if she could test it because she was thinking about buying one. All three. 98 and it stops climbing. You can test this yourself, bring a Emma.

Couple other things to mention. Around 2 or 3 am it sometimes cycles the jets on its own for about 40 seconds. I used to think it was a timer issue but the timer’s been unplugged since January. Also the cover remembers. I don’t really want to get into the cover.

I’m not asking anything for it, I just want it gone. I think it would be happier somewhere new, somewhere it doesn’t have to think about Greg. If you take it. please be kind to it. It’s been through a lot. We both have.

Plot twist: A lovely couple named Greg & Emma take the hothub and are found dead, floating in it a week later.

Soo… haunted hot tub.

Was Greg 2-timing the ex with Emma?

No Emma’s, ex-wives or Greg’s around here. Sounds like a nice hot tub!

Does the hot tub do double duty as a time machine?

Misread the title as “enema” and was waiting for that to become relevant the whole time I was reading it

I know ownership is inherently a burden, but this is mad

Classic.

Have you tried exorcism?