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A lot of that is obnoxious and offensive, but claiming that his hands are bruised from too much handshaking is comedy gold.
Oh sorry, no thank you, I’ve been shaking too many hands lately, you know how it is fellow world leader
Have you seen the way he shakes hands? It’s bordering on assault. Still a bullshit claim, though.
Oh, he’s one of those people. They show dominance by trying to crush your hand.
Still, that shouldn’t bruise his hand. Unless the person he’s doing it to tries to do it back.
And the yanking is just arsehole behaviour. Whenever some chode tries to crush my hand in a handshake, I just let it go completely limp like a dead fish.
I call them out on it: “WTF is that? You trying to prove something, tough guy?” And that’s the end of any chance of working with me, selling something to me, intimidating me, or anything else. You’re just a dickhead, and I WANT you to know that’s exactly what I think of you. Thanks for letting me know you’re an asshole from the start, saves me a lot of trouble.
A good firm squeeze and release is all that is required, and any reasonable person understands that.