Whether intentionally or not, what do movies depict or present wrong a lot of the time?
Telephone etiquette. They just start yapping and then hang up without saying goodbye.
phone rings, main character picks it up
“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.” - MC
“Uhh, I’m just calling about your extended car warranty…” - poor bastard
My mother’s husband does that shit though. Never says goodbye, just hangs up the phone and I’m left annoyed again.
There’s a common theme in movies — since you can only hear one side of a phone conversation — of a character repeating a lot of what the other person said for the audience’s benefit. I’ve seen some example conversations written out showing both sides that show how ludicrous such a conversation would have to be.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RepeatingSoTheAudienceCanHear
Yeah, Ice Cream.
Getting knocked out for a length of time after being hit on the head is likely going to cause pretty significant brain injury or death.
CPR is so hilariously bad and completely against what is taught in even first aid classes. This includes hospital based medical dramas. CPR is also always successful in movies, but relatively rarely in real life.
If a man and woman consume alcohol, there’s an 80% chance that it’s about to transition into a sex scene.
Explosions release a crazy amount of fire. In reality explosions are violently expanding gases with almost no flame seen.
Poverty is rarely ever shown accurately. Malcolm in the MIddle was a good example though.
Forensics and science concepts in general are usually fabricated or badly screwed up for the convenience of the plot. “Zoom and enhance!!”
I unironically like Madame Web, but I admit the CPR was laughable
“I unironically like Madame Web” - @FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca
Some quotes are so unique, you’ll never come across again and they deserve to be immortalised.
If a man and woman consume alcohol, there’s an 80% chance that it’s about to transition into a sex scene.
Also, if a woman vomits without first consuming alcohol, that means she’s pregnant. Bonus points if it’s in the morning.
Explosion and gun sounds in spaaaaceeee!
Gun sounds in general. All those action heroes are deaf after that indoors shootout
Running over a cliff and only start to fall once realizing that you just ran over a cliff.
That’s not real, you fall immediately.
Have you ever tried?? I think it could be real
*points a finger at Loony Tunes for starting it*
The relaxed position of mammalian eyelids leaves them open. Muscles must contract for the eyes to be shut. Dead creatures cannot contract their muscles so their eyes remain open after they die.
You cannot shut their eyes for them by closing their eyes with your hand. Morticians place contacts in cadaver’s eyes while preparing the body for a wake. Those contacts grip the inside of the eyelids so that they remain closed.
This is why some cultures have funerary traditions in which objects are placed over the eyes.
TL;DR: you and your loved ones won’t close their eyes when they die.
I don’t remember well if it was NakedGun, Loaded Weapon or Hot Shots where the eyes of a body stayed open until it was hit in the face.
This is a really big one. I have to revise all of my heroic self insert fantasies where i cover up a dead person’s eyes
Like when you’re at the bank and a bank robber shoots a bunch of people and then you jump out from cover and start covering all the corpses eyes super fast.
Loudness of gunshots. Every action hero would be deaf.
Archers being told to “hold”. Nobody’s holding a +100lbs warbow.
Sprinklers. In the vast majority of cases they react to heat - not smoke. They only go off individually rather than all at once and the water inside the pipes is black ink-like rust water sludge, not clear tap water.
Also another plumbing related: you don’t need a huge wrench under the sink and drains are not pressurized so there’s no water spraying anywhere when you mess with the p-trap.
Also archers being told to “fire”
as firing didn’t exist until gunpowder, the instruction wouldn’t make sense. Like telling a soldier now to “activate the positronic tacyons!” instead of “fire”
Also they didn’t really do massive coordinated volleys
Loose!
Distances in space.
Everything is further away that you can possibly imagine.
Warp 9 to the nearest wormhole.
How big a house an average person can afford.
Romantic relationships. Way too much stalking and abuse of power. Far too many very large age gaps. All that stuff.
Getting hit on the head and staying unconscious for an extended period of time.
No… No that’s not how that shit works. If you’re hit on the head so hard that you are lying on the ground limp, you’re either dead, dying, or have received sever brain damage.
No that’s not how that shit works
sh.itjust.works
Hacking.
That’s probably just a fancy gui skin over a boring port scanner and a bash script testing some 0 days.
I want a realistic hacking movie, and I know how it should be done:
In plot, it needs to be an ensemble cast heist movie a la Ocean’s Eleven. But it should have a “this isn’t serious” tone similar to Down Periscope. Because it’s about a penetration testing company. They’re hired to do a full physical and digital security audit on some large company, so then we follow the crew of law abiding computer nerds and burglars as they plan and perpetrate a series of hacks and attacks on this company.
The stakes if they get caught are they hand a letter of authorization to the security team, say “good job” and report to the company that hired them that their security in that department is good, so even though they’re taking their job seriously there isn’t really any tension and they maintain a goofy sense of humor.
And you’re in luck, Jayson Street and Deviant Ollam have already pretty much entirely written this, just watch their defcon talks. Get those two guys on either side of a coffee table with a bottle of fine whiskey and you’ll have your screenplay before the bottle’s empty.
It’ll never get made though because Master Lock would sue you for even trying. You couldn’t make it without completely obliterating Master Lock.
Hacking.
tap tap tap I’m in.
Honourable mention is NCIS Dual keyboard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8qgehH3kEQHonourable mention is NCIS Dual keyboard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8qgehH3kEQTop hacking scene of all time!
I somehow didn’t see that episode. But now that I’ve seen that scene, it is certainly one of the all time UNIXest of Systems
One man’s Linux is another man’s OS/2.
Cute Asian girl with green hair and a side ponytail: “I’m in!”
Six keystrokes later: “Ok I pulled up the floor plans to the building, disabled the cameras and unlocked all the doors.”
Years back, I remember watching the Wargames scene where the computer was trying to “guess a passcode”. Which it was doing remotely. Determining one digit at a time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGNBdjVO04Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7qOV8xonfY
I said, “This is completely ridiculous. That’s not how any kind of real world authentication system works.” Dramatic, yes. Realistic? No, never happen.
Some years later, there was a severe remote exploit for the filesharing feature for Windows 95 and 98 systems. Not only had the Microsoft person who designed the thing stored the password to a share in plaintext instead of hashing it, which would have precluded this from working, but there was also a bug where the server’s authentication system could be sent a malformed message and only validated as many bytes of the password as had been specified in the authentication message. Someone promptly went out and wrote an exploit to brute-force access to a share by just asking it to only validate the first byte, try each, get in in at most 256 tries. I look at that and say “yeah, but it also exposes the next byte of the password itself, and those probably persist even after the thing is patched, not to mention the potential for credentials reuse for other things”. I go modify Samba’s smbclient to iterate through the thing, extract the password one byte at a time. I message a buddy who has a Windows 98 machine on the network, “hey, can I break into your machine for a sec?” He comes up “Uh, okay. What are you up to, tal?”
I fire it up and we’re sitting there watching his password be printed on my Linux box’s screen, one letter at a time. I said, “This is exactly like that scene in Wargames that I said could never, ever happen in real life, was just Hollywood. Guess that showed me.” He says, “fucking Microsoft”.
the classic : no cleanup after sex
Yes and i think this would be a healthy thing to show.
Absolutely.
characters awkwardly rolling up toilet paper and changing the bedsheets for 10 minutes
Also how everyone is like wrapping their entire body up in sheets to get up from the bed. As if they weren’t literally just fucking lol
This made one scene in the Fallout TV series very effective.
Cops being the good guys.
Imagine an evil terrorist organization coming into the picture, and it’s up to REAL COPS to stop them.
And like real cops, they end up taking a detour to Walmart, where a woman was accused of stealing so they pull out their guns and kill a baby.
Oh is this too real? My bad.
Pulling people out of a burning building. In reality the smoke and fire is so bad, you ain’t seeing shit, not like the clear visibility like they show in the movies. And I spoke to a firefighter who’d been doing it for 35 years. The guy was teaching fire safety at my workplace. He said he responded to thousands of burning buildings and the number of times anyone’s been saved out of a burning building? Exactly zero. That always stuck with me.
Though I fully agree with you i do recall this youtube video from a few years ago of a guy running back into his burning home to save his dog and he got him out alive.
If you know exactly where you’re going, and the path is not itself in flame, and the residual heat+smoke have not yet rendered both your path and your patient’s current location unsurvivable, then it is possible.
The movie trope of covering your mouth with a rag and walking through rooms which are actively on fire, trying to find someone who has been inside that same room getting asphyxiated and/or cooked for several minutes is most definitely not real.
The heat alone is off the fucking charts, too. These are 1,100-1,500F. Like trying to walk through an oven only 3 or 4x hotter.