I know this is gonna sound like the “Where exactly, so I can avoid it” meme, but I’m sincerely trying to avoid it.

I am pretty physically active, and get massage every six months or so. I have a massage therapist I usually go to, but every once in a while it’s an emergency and my go-to is booked up, so I get a sketchy strip mall massage.

About half the time it ends with a happy ending attempt. Not that I’m against the concept, but I refuse to pay for sexual contact on principle. Also that cuts into the time spent on the actual massage I came in for, and pressures me into a huge tip for something I don’t actually want.

At the same time, I don’t want to assume. It seems pretty rude to start off with “I know you’re gonna wanna give me a handjob but I’m not interested”. So is there some kind of standard “initiation” ritual that I can turn down when it comes up?

  • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.worksOP
    15·
    2 days ago

    I’ve never been uncomfortable with being naked or being touched. And I’m actually an extremely sex-positive person.

    But I get massage because I get sore muscles. It’s not about just being touched, it’s directed pressure to work out muscle knots. If I got a massage and all they did was oil me up and lightly touch me, I wouldn’t be going back.

    • RBWells@lemmy.world
      5·
      2 days ago

      Yeah I miss my sadistic masseur so much, I used to go to a guy who was like 6’5" and strong and gay - ideal combination - and the massages hurt but I would feel so much better after. I don’t need it to feel good during the massage, what I want is to fix whatever is going on. I realize logically that the hard pressure is not necessary to release muscle tension and fix things, but it has been more effective for me personally. I want to feel better after the massage than I do during it.

      • Rekorse@sh.itjust.works
        2·
        2 days ago

        Hard agree, although mine is a middle aged Asian woman who talks about how fucked up my back is as she’s torturing me. 100% feel better after though, like immediately.

      • sem@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        2·
        2 days ago

        Endorphins are a hell of a drug. I also saw a legitimately sadistic massage therapists with, let’s say, differences in feeling empathy from most people. Best massages ever, but eventually it didn’t feel safe.