I know this is gonna sound like the “Where exactly, so I can avoid it” meme, but I’m sincerely trying to avoid it.

I am pretty physically active, and get massage every six months or so. I have a massage therapist I usually go to, but every once in a while it’s an emergency and my go-to is booked up, so I get a sketchy strip mall massage.

About half the time it ends with a happy ending attempt. Not that I’m against the concept, but I refuse to pay for sexual contact on principle. Also that cuts into the time spent on the actual massage I came in for, and pressures me into a huge tip for something I don’t actually want.

At the same time, I don’t want to assume. It seems pretty rude to start off with “I know you’re gonna wanna give me a handjob but I’m not interested”. So is there some kind of standard “initiation” ritual that I can turn down when it comes up?

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    9·
    2 days ago

    Well, there’s different kinds of massage.

    The generic spa-style massage is more about relaxation, and is done in a setting that shifts the context to being fairly impersonal.

    More medically focused, or sports focused (lot of overlap there) massage is being done with a goal in mind, usually in a setting that also makes it feel less intimate than it might otherwise (even with the same technique involved).

    Just as an example, I trained up in a handful of massage methods over the years. Lymphatic release, myofascial release, deep tissue, a variant of shiatsu, and the bog standard “just rub the muscles that are tense” kind that isn’t really a technique/style at all. What would be used depended on my patients’ needs and preferences.

    Deep tissue, I really never broke out on patients though. A few, but it was rare. That was more for friends that were in need due to muscle issues.

    Myofascial release is superb for people with reduced mobility and/or spacicity since out favors fairly gentle pressure that directly unloads where the muscles connect.

    Your lymphatic release is also low pressure, and is kind of the default for both a post-workout massage as well as geriatric patients and bedbound patients. It focuses on moving your juices along to the center of the body sp that associated buildup of wastes will be enhanced

    But what remains true is that most massage is best done on bare skin. Not all benefit from lubricants though. Myofascial release, in particular, becomes more difficult and> less effective because you really need to be able to apply focused pressure without movement as part of what you’re doing.

    • sem@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      2·
      1 day ago

      Will massage therapists generally be familiar with deep tissue massage if you ask?

      I think that’s what i used to get, where it felt like i was getting my tendons re-adjusted and stuff, but i didn’t know how to ask.

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
        2·
        1 day ago

        Yeah, almost guaranteed. Won’t necessarily offer it as a service, though the vast majority should. But any proper professional would know what it is, and likely know how.

        There’s some degree of variation in techniques, but that is likely what you were getting. Deep tissue can outright hurt, but the goal is to get into the muscles where hard tension is and unkink it. It uses steady, usually slow, but forceful pressure to really get past the surface.

        Which is why not everyone will offer it. It is very demanding for the practitioner, and patients may or may not actually want it, and just think they do lol. My hands can’t do it any more. Hell, I can’t always pull off the easier stuff. Arthritis sucks lol.