- cross-posted to:
- lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
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They do that knowing you’re not going to listen to them anyways typically.
It took me a while but eventually you will break free from the shackles that are your parents. You are your own person and you don’t have base your reality on what your parents told you as a kid.
are you sure about that?
People these days seem to loathe being independent adults. The amount of co-dependency on parents I see in 30 something adults is fucking mind-blowing.
It’s because they can’t afford to get out from under them, or at least can’t do that AND have a decent quality of life. I know a number of people in their 30s who are still living with their parents or are only free of them because they inherited enough to set themselves up in a house. It’s rough out there. Otherwise they are fully functional adults.
That’s typically an economic issue, not a personhood issue. Not that it’s a bad thing to share housing between generations, it should be normalized as it was not long ago.
For us we have three generations under one roof because it works. Everyone pitches in, and having a grandparent around for occasional childcare is a godsend. Eventually we will be the carers as they get into advanced age. There was a period of learning to let go of individual cultural hangups, but we all got over it in our own time.
The idea of every couple having their own individual single-family home, kicking kids out the moment they turn 18, and letting grandma either fend for herself or go into a nursing home (which will swallow any inheritance that exists) is not just cruel, it’s completely unsustainable.
I’m talking about emotional and financial co-dependency, like people who can afford to live on their own, who don’t choose to do so because they are unable to leave the nest because they don’t know how to function without their parent taking care of them.
Normalizing dependency is not a good thing. There is a reason ‘living in your parents basement’ is an insult, and it’s not because of the economics of it. It’s because it shows a lack of ability to grow and mature and have a functional adult life. If you are still seeking parental approval and living off the bank of mom and dad you’re not a functional dult.
Nobody cares if a 22 year old is living at home while they sort out their first job and pay down their loans. But if you’re doing that at 35+ and you have no plans to move out for the rest of your life, that’s entirely different.
I actually think this whole concept of independence is pretty bad for society. Americans are so isolated. I get people have shit families but we often have shit families because of this concept of independence being so important.
We have 0 sense of community in America and it stems from the me, me, me, my independence stuff.
Cool. I don’t. I fucking love being independent and most independent people I know love it too. The most unhappy people I meet and have known were those who were co-dependent on their families, even if they were living alone, because they never developed emotional of fiscal dependence and a self of autonomy and self-actualization…
I don’t have a lack of a sense of community at all. But I go outside of my house and do fun shit at least 2-3 times a week. I don’t sit around on the internet complaining about how awful the world is and how awful my life is… weird how that works! Weird how being an independent self-actualizing adult is a really positive thing that makes life happy… and the alternative makes life miserable.
Almost as if you want to feel good about yourself you should… go outside and participate in life. Not sit around doom scrolling on a device in an online spaces in a cycle of self-pity and rage punctuated by bouts of feeling moral superior to other folks who don’t share in your politics or lifestyle choices
Dunno why you’re so aggro about it but okay. Nobody cares what you do and nobody is saying you don’t do them. Relax.
There is a difference between independent, in a community and codependent. It isn’t just codependent and independent.
You seem pretty angry though so maybe you should step back and think about why you’re so mad at others saying independence isn’t the greatest thing since slice bread lol
You don’t understand anything. Your IQ must be fucking in negative numbers.
The fucking problem is that social mobility is a fucking myth, we’re not all in the fucking privilege bubble you live in, and we’re the majority.
You think finding a job is that easy? Even worse with the AI boom. And even if you find a job, it’s more likely to be a bad-paid shit job where you spend more going to your place of work than you get paid in wages. Then there is the issue that house prices are increasingly going up while wages are not only stagnating, but falling.
Yeah. Also, someone has to take care of these older people. Like, putting myself as an example, my mom is in his 60s, and has plenty of aches and pains, suffers from spine, carpal tunnel, hip problems, hypotension, stomach sensitivity and can be depressive. My heart would break if I just abandoned her for the sake of “independency”. That’s not independency, that’s being a fucking asshole.
Yeah, that’s why that’s a career for many people. Because most of us don’t have the ability or skills to do that, so we pay someone who does to do it.
Why would I subject my mother to my shitty care, when I can pay a professional who has trained and worked with elder care their entire life who is really really good at it, and therefore she has a WAY higher quality of life in that home, than she’d ever have with me? She’s be utterly fucking miserable living with me and me with her. I also literally don’t have the time to be changing her diapers 6x a day, because I have a full time job and other responsibilities.
But right, anyone who treats their parents well by giving them excellent elder care from a professional is a fucking asshole, right. Why not force her to sit in her own shit 10 hours a day while I’m at my job.
Hi, I’m just saying sorry for having to take care of a parent. It’s a lot of work and something many of us have to face someday.
Yeah, but they need way more than fucking physical cares, and still you can fucking hire a proffesional in caregiving to assist her in the house, without having to let her fucking alone.
Psychological cares greatly involves having a sane relationship with your cared ones, and that means fucking keeping them company and not send them anywhere else like they’re fucking trouble to get rid of.
Plus, you’re still talking from the priviledge that you can simply hire someone. Someone of us just can’t do it because we barely can buy food, and we are the fucking majority of the world population.
So yeah, you’re a motherfucking asshole.
And you’re some dude who rages at people online because you hate your life?
maybe you should take that rage and turn it into something productive my dude. self-pity isn’t a productive activity and your indulgence in it only make your life worse, and your moms. maybe work out, volunteer, etc. you have enough money apparently to have an active internet connection? dunno where you live but where I live a ISP fee can easily be $100+ and that’s enough food for one person for a few weeks.
call it privileged all you want. as far as I’m concerned I busted my ass my entire life and now I get to chill and enjoy the fruits and comfort of my hard-labor that many of my peers refused to engaged in. and i’m laughing it all up.
you could also have spend your time raging here on applying for jobs, or getting job counseling or million other things to improve your life. but it’s your choice to not do that. crash out online all you want i guess.
???
You have zero reading comprehension. You don’t even try to understand a damn word I say, you just use damn fallacies, like the ad hominem you just threw at me, and you talk about it? Above you use the classic straw man fallacy, attacking the fact that although I am poor I have the internet because you know that my argument is correct. Pathetic.
I am from Venezuela, where the minimum wage is between $0.17 and $0.25. The Minimum Comprehensive Indexed Income, as the corrupt narco-government of my shitty country calls it, is $240, basically composed of bonuses they give to those they like. $740 is the basic basket. If in my house we pay for internet, it is because it is suicide not to have it: work, studies, banking, procedures, everything is digitalized. On top of that, I study Computer Engineering and work as a music producer. Guess what? Two of the industries most affected by AI. I hardly see any offers, even if my work is good, because people prefer to pay an AI company that steals my data and my creations (and those of billions of people like me). For all this, not only do I earn much less than $100 a month, but I am lucky to get a job every six months. Right now I’ve been out of work even longer than that, even though I search and search. I have the right then to want to shut up damned bastards like you, who are better off dead, that would do a huge good to the world.
“Dad, can I go to a party with my friends?”
“You gonna drink?”
“No.”
“Do drugs?”
“No.”
“Have sex?”
“No.”
“Then why the fuck do you wanna go to a party?”
“New Mario Kart game just dropped”
“Cool. Tell me if it’s worth picking up a copy”