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sidebro@lemmy.zip to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 18 hours ago

What if? WHAT IF?!

lemmy.zip

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What if? WHAT IF?!

lemmy.zip

sidebro@lemmy.zip to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 18 hours ago
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  • rumba@lemmy.zip
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    8 hours ago

    Parents are projecting when they do this. I hold this thing and it brings me such joy, here, you must feel this joy.

    Many people without kids who have never held a kid at most feel a little curiosity at the new experience, but don’t feel that mass of endorphins that the parent or previous parent gets when holding a newborn.

    Until I had my own, holding someone else’s kid was to appease them, not because it made me overflow with joy.

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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      2 hours ago

      I’ve got a kid and had that nervousness. I remember when we left the hospital, it felt like it was too easy, like “we just made this kid, an actual person, and you’re just letting us leave and take it home with us!? Isn’t that irresponsible??”

  • socsa@piefed.social
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    7 hours ago

    Just a little drop. Just to see how it feels.

  • PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S [he/him]@anarchist.nexus
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    11 hours ago

    Seriously I absolutely do not understand putting your child’s safety into someone else’s hands for shits and giggles. Like I’m honored you trust me that much, but…maybe don’t trust my feeble body lol 😆

    • socsa@piefed.social
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      7 hours ago

      It’s a trap. The moment you hold the baby on your own, it steals your soul and gives you brain chemicals to make new babies. That’s how baby is formed

  • Sundray@lemmus.org
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    13 hours ago

    Parent: “You won’t”

    Lemmy User:

    • socsa@piefed.social
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      7 hours ago

      YOURE NOT MY SUPERVISOR

    • Plastic_Ramses@lemmy.world
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      8 hours ago

      This aint my dad its a cell phone!

  • Scuzzm0nkey@lemmy.world
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    7 hours ago

    Everyone drops a baby, it’s how you react afterward that’s important. I’m a fan of scooping them back up before anyone notices personally.

    “Hey can you hold my baby?”

    “Sure… for a bit”

  • Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works
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    10 hours ago

    Sometimes they do get dropped. Just look at JD Vance.

    • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
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      7 hours ago

      deleted by creator

    • sidebro@lemmy.zipOP
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      10 hours ago

      Should have dropped him harder

  • Snapz@lemmy.world
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    9 hours ago

    “You won’t” is a thing bad parents say right before their friend who was nervous or disinterested in holding their baby, drops it.

  • tomatoisaberry@lemmy.world
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    14 hours ago

    I always reply with, “No, thanks, I’ve already eaten.”

  • Capt. Wolf@lemmy.world
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    8 hours ago

    Dropped one once. Was mid transfer with his sister and he decided to start squirming. Reflexes kicked in and I caught him mid fall. That was over 20 years ago and I’m still terrified.

  • cronenthal@discuss.tchncs.de
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    17 hours ago

    Actually happened to me. Not a full drop, just head on table. I was never offered a baby to hold again.

    • socsa@piefed.social
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      7 hours ago

      Are you looking for an apprentice?

    • Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      16 hours ago

      *takes notes*

      • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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        15 hours ago

        If it was just head, they never would have had the baby in the first place.

  • spacegoat@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    I hate holding babies. I don’t want to hold your baby

    • cass80@programming.dev
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      16 hours ago

      I refuse as well. When asked why I say it’s too much of a liability. The unspoken part is I don’t care enough to take the chance.

  • notnowimbatin@fedinsfw.app
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    14 hours ago

    What if he knows I used to be a giant piece of shit?

    • PM_ME_SOMETHING@fedinsfw.app
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      13 hours ago

      People can change

      • StabbingSky@lemmy.zip
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        12 hours ago

        They still are a giant piece of shit, but they used to be too.

        • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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          9 hours ago

          I’m afraid StabbingSky thinks people can’t change.

          • StabbingSky@lemmy.zip
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            8 hours ago

            It was just a Mitch Hedberg reference.

  • TrackenDaKracken@lemmy.world
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    12 hours ago

    It’s not as scary as it seems, and quite a bit of fun.

    Don’t be afraid to try.

    Source: Am dad. But, it’s been a long time since I held a baby. Not that I think anything has changed about it in the intervening years.

  • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
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    13 hours ago

    Then you’re legally responsible for the death of a child.

    Don’t worry tho, you’re legally responsible if your actions or lack of care kill anyone - you should be used to it be now.

    • StabbingSky@lemmy.zip
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      12 hours ago

      Infants are pretty bouncy, so it’ll probably be fine.

  • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    Yeah, I’m good.

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