There is a lot of valuable materials inside flock cameras that can be sold for profit.
Ooh deadass? I don’t think they have them in my city let alone country yet, but when they come, I’ll be ready
I moved out at 17, got married at 20, bought a house at 22. I also have been working since I was 12. After forty years of working, I still have nothing saved except some home equity.
38, never had a job, about to get one or starve. Sink or swim, parasite. You don’t need a plan, you just start hitting up all the grocery stores, fast food joints and temp agencies before your supply of ramen runs out. Temp agencies will send anyone with a pulse to stack product on pallets at whatever factories are local.
Tamaki Saitō’s book Hikikomori is worth a read on this
Fuck off, slopper
ohh come on let him slop
this happened to me at only 19. I was homeless for 4 months after.
It sucks at 19 and isn’t really fair because getting started is so much harder these days. Now imagine you were twice as old and had never tried to do anything with your life.
I regularly tell my parents that the reason I am not like so many Americans, is that I have a supportive family. I live with my parents, but I would likely be homeless if they weren’t here for me.
But like … You do work or go to school or at least try to do something besides just mooch, right? This guy never even tried, apparently for two decades after high school
Me at 22. Was homeless as well. I make decent money now almost twenty years later and I still look at prices and think back when I used to dumpster dive.
Back in the day, I used to eat pretty well out of dumpsters. Wasn’t really homeless, was living in an old caravan, but was proper broke.
These days, at least round here, they lock up the dumpsters, have security guards, or deliberately contaminate the food. Wankers.
The works of the roots of the vines, of the trees, must be destroyed to keep up the price, and this is the saddest, bitterest thing of all. Carloads of oranges dumped on the ground. The people came for miles to take the fruit, but this could not be. How would they buy oranges at twenty cents a dozen if they could drive out and pick them up? And men with hoses squirt kerosene on the oranges, and they are angry at the crime, angry at the people who have come to take the fruit. A million people hungry, needing the fruit- and kerosene sprayed over the golden mountains. And the smell of rot fills the country. Burn coffee for fuel in the ships. Burn corn to keep warm, it makes a hot fire. Dump potatoes in the rivers and place guards along the banks to keep the hungry people from fishing them out. Slaughter the pigs and bury them, and let the putrescence drip down into the earth.
There is a crime here that goes beyond denunciation. There is a sorrow here that weeping cannot symbolize. There is a failure here that topples all our success. The fertile earth, the straight tree rows, the sturdy trunks, and the ripe fruit. And children dying of pellagra must die because a profit cannot be taken from an orange. And coroners must fill in the certificate- died of malnutrition- because the food must rot, must be forced to rot. The people come with nets to fish for potatoes in the river, and the guards hold them back; they come in rattling cars to get the dumped oranges, but the kerosene is sprayed. And they stand still and watch the potatoes float by, listen to the screaming pigs being killed in a ditch and covered with quick-lime, watch the mountains of oranges slop down to a putrefying ooze; and in the eyes of the people there is the failure; and in the eyes of the hungry there is a growing wrath. In the souls of the people the grapes of wrath are filling and growing heavy, growing heavy for the vintage.
glad you’re doing good now. just as a little secret, I still dumpster dive to this day honestly… it’s how I got every piece of furniture in my house except my bed. gotta save where ya can lol.
Is no one here going to tell me why this is fake and gay? WTF do I come to the greentext community for? Just serious comments about people’s own experiences? Fucking shameful
Well it’s gay because OP has touched dick more than he’ll ever touch a woman.
Idk about fake though. It tracks pretty much with what I’ve known the average 4channer to be like.
Is no one here going to tell me why this is fake and gay?
Given the type of person who frequents 4chan, it is likely the most heteronormative and real-ass thing ever posted in green.
my own experience is fake and gay.
Very very gay
Poor guy, they failed him
Depending on where they live in the us and assuming it’s real, all he’ll need to do is get to a shelter. Make it clear that he needs help, then do the things asked. This all assumes he is mentally stable and physically well. there are programs but they do not hold your hand. They are not great, they are not the best as compared to other countries, but it is something. If he clean on drug tests and criminal there are many places that will take him. It won’t be pleasant.
If he has any documented physical health issues, then he needs to get a disability lawyer going.
As many pointed out, this world is grossly difficult and Unfair, but as long as one is kind, truthful, and continues to try, people will at least attempt to help, or at least tell you honestly they can’t.
all he’ll need to do is get to a shelter
Famously very luxurious, accommodating, and safe places to live long term. There’s never a space shortage. You get three squares a day of very tasty and nutrious faire, no questions asked. There’s never any kind of Kafka-esque bureaucracy to gaining entrance, much less obligations on the people in the shelter to maintain residence. It’s definitely not boring. Nobody is ever exploited. Mental health of all the residents is top notch and you never experience and physical violence or emotional abuse while there.
It won’t be pleasant.
Understatement.
If he has any documented physical health issues, then he needs to get a disability lawyer going.
“I’m broke, I have no transportation, and I’m about to be homeless”
“Have you talked to your lawyer about it?”
I feel like you are being a cunt on purpose, most of those points where addressed in the comment. Ok the lawyer one needed clarification. Disability lawyers are a little easier (not easy, easier) to obtain while in a homeless and jobless state. Starting off pro bono and eventually getting paid from the state in one way or another, or thro charities/non profits is not uncommon for them.
Yes it was a understatment about shelter life. But you got so dum and smarmy about it. Its still better that the fucking street. (at least in an american east coast city). Yea your still gonna get robbed, but their is a much lower chance of getting stomped, lit on fire, or just fucking raped.
Horrible parenting tbh. And their son reminds them everyday how they failed as parents so they’re just kicking him out.
I’m glad my parents didn’t give a shit about me. It forced me to learn on my own even if it happened slowly
Similar situation happened with my girlfriend. Her parents did nothing for her, while mine did everything for me. She’s younger than me but I still rely on her to take care of certain adult tasks, like scheduling appointments and making phone calls. I have too much anxiety to do it on my own. One time I got a job at a call center to get over my fear of phone calls, and the only thing that did was make it worse. People are so much more rude when they can’t see your face!
People are so much more rude when they can’t see your face!
Unsolicited sales calls - especially at modern day volumes - are about as well-received as someone knocking on your toilet stall to try and convert you to Jesus.
Getting a call center job to overcome your fear of phones sounds like getting waterboarded to overcome your fear of drowning.
I think people who do work that involves contact with the general public have to be petty emotionally resilient. I am no good at it. A lot of the public are utter wankers and throw you into fight or flight mode.
How on earth do you get to 38 and not have a job?
Throughout my life, I’ve befriended several people like that. They all have mental or physical disabilities, but you would never know until they told you.
I only know one person like this and he actually tries but parents are rich and he gets fired from everything he does so he ends up back into old habits
other people pay your bills for you. and give you spending money
There should be a government program to handle situations like this if there aren’t. Take an assessment of their current skills and interests and get them into employment and/or training for something that fits. You basically need to intervene when the parents won’t and do it in a way that’s as least stressful for the person as possible. It would pay off in the end because otherwise this person may end up on government assistance later when they most need it. Politicians who can pull this off may get to claim to have reduced unemployment in their reelection campaign. And it’s just a good thing to do. Some people won’t take the initiative. You have to do it for them and hold their hand.
Edit: As far as I can tell, the closest thing to this in the US is the one-stop centers. Each state has their own.
There’s also temp agencies. They’re shit and the jobs they give you will be shit but they’re pretty good at finding something for basically anyone who isn’t completely unemployable. Someone whose only issues are a lack of transportation, housing, and work history would still be considered a good get by most temp agencies.
The US used to have the Job Corps program…
Wait, you guys don’t have that? US I assume? Damn, does your government do anything?
It kills brown people
They kill poor white people too on occasion so it balances out.
Oh, come on. It kills far more than just brown people.
I don’t think the federal government has a program like this, but I went through unemployment after getting laid off last year in Massachusetts and they had resources to help you find careers and training/qualifications and whatnot. Some of the dumbest, lowest empathy people you encounter bitch about Communist Taxachusetts non stop but we have it pretty good here compared to some other places in the Union.
The tax revenue per capita in Massachusetts is about $9000. (source)
I measure it this way because it gets around the comparison problem of some places having no income tax, but high sales tax toake up for it.
Anyway, we should happily pay $4000 per year difference to not live in Oklahoma.
The only thing our government actually does that’s uncontroversial is running a bunch of parks, and even those are understaffed
Governments are for Communists.
/s
Japan is probably the closest by actually having the hikikomori problem in public discourse. Most of the rest of the world they probably end up homeless.
Japan is just ahead of the curve when it comes to problems related to arrested development. They’re not better at planning, they just experienced their tipping point earlier
Lots of people end up on welfare and in social housing under similar situations. We stigmatize those people so much that it never enters public discourse in the same way.
People who are unhoused tend to have even more severe difficulties resulting in that situation.
this already exists, it’s called temp agency employment. no, the government doesn’t run it.
baffles me how little real world experience a lot of you people have. at least every other day on here I see someone spectulate abotu this ‘great thing that should exist’ and it already does.
also a ton of bigger public libraries offer these types of services/classes for free. including basic computer job skills and such…
but you’d have to actually… look it up and leave your house to do any of this.
I wish my government had some social safety nets like some other countries do to help out people like this
HAVE YOU EVEN HEARD OF SHITTY PRIVATE BUSINESSES THAT SORT OF KIND OF DO THAT BUT NOT ACTUALLY? GO OUTSIDE YOU MORON!
Are you OK and if not would you like a hug?
because it works perfectly fine if you’re not a helpless moron, that’s why.
lots of people start their careers through temp job training programs and become permanent hires.
i’m not dumb and niave enough to be lemmy brained to think government programs are inherently flawness and wonderful and private/semi public programs are evil and terrible.
i have what they call ‘real life experience’ in these matters. instead of being a keyboard warrior who types in all caps and insults people as if this is in anyway helpful of knowledgeable about the world and how it works.
but hey man, it’s easy to dwell in ignorance and rage at the world than… make use of resources that are readily available to you to improve your life. including the countless free ones on the internet that are both public and private…
clearly the ‘answer’ to problems like this is to daydream about a socialist/communist utopia and be angry it doesn’t exist and also wish violence upon those who point out to you that it’s never going to exist.
Yeah you need a hug.
Private services are not the same.
Which government are you talking about there’s more than one you know.
but you’d have to actually… look it up and leave your house to do any of this.
That’s the problem. The sort of person we’re talking about isn’t going to do this. What’s needed is an army of people incessantly knocking on doors offering to help.
they aren’t going to open the door either man.
you can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves. homeless, drug addicts, dependapotamus situations etc.
though on lemmy people think a political revolution is going to like… magically fix people like this… but the only person who will is themselves.
I think I fall in the middle of this. I think this kid (and I think he is still a kid) had 38 years to transition to independence. But the same could be said about the parents. Why are they kicking him out now instead of after schooling? Now they are doing this almost cold turkey. Why not tell him he has until his birthday to stay paying rent. Then later impose more restrictions until ultimately sending him on his way.
I’m old so I feel it’s ridiculous for a 38 year old to still be living at home without substantially contributing. At the same time they let him do it and it’s kind of unfair allow it to get this far. He probably had a reasonable expectation of living with them until he or they died.
we don’t know what his parents did or didn’t do leading up to op’s brief synopsis.
I think we can infer, based on the fact that a grown ass man is still living with his parents and clearly not helping financially since he has no clue how to get a job.
32 here, my parents divorced which kicked me out as they sold the house in my early 20s. From friends I see some still live at home, but those that do all pay rent or help out in some way.
I know people like this. Knew a quite a few people from college who were only their parents payroll until 35. I am in my 40s and I still meet single women who are living with/off mom and dad at my age… but people generally dont’ judge women for that.
Basically it was just the arbitrary age at which they felt ‘adulthood’ should start. For me that was basically 18, for others it was mid 30s, for some people, it’s never.
And in my experience it’s largely a function of how much wealth people have, like wealthier folks give their kids way more runway because they can afford to support them for longer period of time with minimal impact to themselves.
In my demo it’s not living at home, it’s people who spend their 20s working low-age jobs but living high-wage lifestyle due to parents paying their rent and other major expenses. And usually when they do get cut off… they transition to a high paid job via another degree, or they get married.
Also there is the issue emotional co-dependence, some parts are just totally co-dependent on their kids emotionally and don’t want them to ever leave, etc.
My nephew is in exactly this position. My sister and her husband make plenty of money, they felt emotionally attached, he’s diagnosed as ADHD, so he gets a pass on some things. He’s 32.
I know millennials hate that older people criticize them and I get it, but every millennial I know is in exactly this position and I don’t understand how anyone can hold his head high knowing he essentially can’t take care of himself.
On the other hand, I grew up in a different time. I graduated with $9k of debt, not $100k. I devoted decades of my life working to make someone else rich. So who’s smarter, me or my nephew?
I mean, if they’re ok with him living there, who am I to judge? My only real complaint is that he feels entitled to things he hasn’t earned. My sister plays disc golf with me. He played with us briefly. He won’t let her use “his” discs. The discs she paid for. He demands to sit in the front seat of the car sometimes, not request it. I’m sorry, but if Mom says she wants the front seat, Mom gets the fucking front seat. Not sure if this is generational or just him. But as a genX, I try to be understanding, because I see how the country has gone, but it can be tough sometimes, because from my perspective, he’s getting a 100% free ride and should be friggin grateful.
My MIL is one of the codependent ones. My SO is basically her parent at this point.
Luckily my mom thinks MIL is a shitty parent, and actually acts like a parent for my SO.
Running on the assumption this is authentic and heterosexual, Anon’s parents massively dropped the ball creating an adult with no will to fly the coop. But then to cut them off cold turkey is totally fucked up. Anon is now permanently 15 years behind their peers. Not to mention zero retirement savings. That compounded interest takes 30-35 years to really start to matter. But Anon gets to miss out on 15 years of that, too.
I really hope things work out in the end.
My parents made sure to give me a will to fly the coop by making sure I couldn’t fucking stand to be around them
I almost think OP’s situation with 20 years of enablement is worse because it offers a persistent safety net, then rips it away
My wife’s cousin is in a similar situation. She never left home or got a job or a driver’s license because she was always too scared, and her mom always let that slide, since she didn’t want to make her daughter scared or uncomfortable.
She thought her job was to protect her daughter from all the stresses of the world until she was ready, but failed to understand that she won’t be ready until she’s experienced some of those stresses in a controlled environment like most kids do when they’re in their teens and their parents push them to get a job and a license.
It came from a place of kindness, but ended up being a major mistake that now both the kid and the parent are paying for.
I knew a girl who had been “homeschooled” by her super Christian mom. Thankfully, the indoctrination didn’t take, she was intelligent, but wasn’t given the education she deserved. Moreover, she developed anxiety and would take ages to leave the house for planned events. Turns out that by babying her and never pushing her boundaries, she never learned that critical inner-push that all of us who’ve ever woken up and been like, “Ughhh, I don’t want to go to school/work today” have spent years overcoming. That sense of, “Well, I’ve gotta do it, so let’s just get up and get it done” didn’t develop, as she was allowed to just stay in or sleep or whatever instead of learning to tolerate the discomfort.
It always bugged me when parents treat their offspring as if they’ll forever be children, instead of treating them as future adults. These stories are the inevitably outcome of that.
A big reason why the western idea of every single person should always leave home and start a new household is fucking retarded. Its not the right fit for everyone. Hell its objectively fucking stupid in the VAST majority of cases. Many do it any ways for various reasons. But the whole normality of it being “the only correct way to live” needs to fucking die.
I’ll take your thought process a step further here. I blame parents who raise children that dont leave for having children in the first place. Stop having children. Spay and neuter yourself. BOGO vasectomies for the people! Lol. Sorry, this one got a little away from me.
Sure, but being independent is still an important general life skill. You can rely on other people under normal circumstances, and that’s certainly not a bad thing, but there will always be scenarios in life where you need to figure things out for yourself. If you’re paralyzed with anxiety when that happens, that means there’s a skill you unfortunately were unable to learn that is now causing an issue.
And in these multi-generational homes what you see is the kids accepting the conditions based on them becoming the providers. I feel the comment is this is not happening.
Again, assuming this has any basis in reality, I think it’s likely that the parents have made many attempts to get the guy to change before and this is the last resort. They probably didn’t wait 38 years and then one day just decided “this is it”.
yeah, this is likely more a case of fighting/ignoring mom and dad and them finally bringing down the banhammer.
or maybe mom and dad want to fucking retire… god forbid! since if he is 38 they are most likely 65+
in that case you arrange for a bachelor apartment for the guy. hes a human being after all.
Calm down, pal! I’m sure mum will bring the tendies soon.
Even worse they raised a kid with no will to fly the coop AND they rejected a intergrated multigenerational house hold.
Most cultures on earth and for most of history you lived with your family your entire life, or moved to another house hold. To start a new household was abnormal.
So you either need to raise your kid to the new standard to want to stand on their own and start their own household. Or you embrace the old and stay together and create a multigenerational household.
To do neither is objectively abuse.
to cut them off cold turkey
How are you reading it that way?
Having to “beg dad for money when I want a pizza” doesn’t sound like someone being coddled, it sounds like someone who’s been told a thousand times to get a damn job and move out. Plus they’re not even kicking OOP out immediately, they’re giving them until their birthday.
I mean it is obviously fake, but still
authentic and heterosexual
Is this a phrase I’m unaware of? Or what does his sexuality have to do with it?
It’s an older 4chan/internet meme where everyone calls an original post and the poster “fake and gay”.
Ahh got it, thanks for clearing it up!
This situation may sound ridiculous, but I’ve got a cousin over 40 in essentially the same position. Never worked a day in her and still lives with her parents. No one really knows what’s going to happen when they pass, but no one appears willing to let her live with them. Myself included. Not that i’vd be her first choice anyway. I live half way across the country.
probably end up homeless
No point in saving. The climate is fucked and we will unironically die in the water wars.
I think this year’s summer really drove that home
Yeah time to kick him out was when he was 20ish +/- 1 year. Since you get a very good idea by that point if that adult is able to take care of himself. I have 3 people in my life (2 cousins, 1 family friend). Who are in that exact situation. I knew even when they were 20 that they’re not given the right skillet to ever be independent. And have no motivation to be independent on their own. Now they’re all in their 30s. I always their parents talking to my parents about how to make them independent and refuse to still cut them cold turkey.
I mean parents fucked up for sure, but it’s not too uncommon unfortunately. All I ever remind those parents is, I will not help someone who isn’t trying to help themselves. I’m not even close to them. But 2 out of 3 have tried asking me for money.
Yeah, even when I was on good terms with my father I knew that as soon as I finished schooling there was a timer on how long I was allowed to stay with him, and it certainly wasn’t years. Like a week or two after graduating college I moved in with my now ex
You’ll never make it without a good skillet
Skillet is the secret of a good life
Its not “cold turkey”, because hes had 15 years to work on it. If he hasn’t, then it’s kind of left over Turkey from last weeks thanks giving which has already been re-heated several times.
The best time to kick him out was 15 years ago. The second best time is now.
How’s the state pension over there? Here in the UK its pretty good, if you have paid off your house anyway. I would be richer than I am now from working if I had a pension but no mortgage.
If you also had to pay housing then it could be kinda rough, but I have lived alright on less.
State pension, in the US? A laughable concept. Best anon could hope for is Supplemental Security Income (SSI), a program for people who are disabled, are unable to work, and have never worked. There’s a lengthy application process involving clinical records of the disabling condition, not everyone who applies is approved, and the maximum benefit is about $950/month, relegating you to extreme poverty forever
It’s also worth mentioning that you have to reapply for disability benefits regularly, justifying yourself with several page paper forms every time. Even people with permanent disabilities have to reapply, as if the nerve damage from an accident or the congenital condition they were born with might suddenly go away. My girlfriend can’t write more than a few lines before the pain from her disability makes it too difficult, and they expect her to fill out what is practically a small pamphlet by hand every couple years. If it were at least a digital form, she could use speech-to-text to help her get through it, but as it stands she needs somebody else (last time it was me) to hand-write her answers.
The hoops the government puts out for disabled people to redeem benefits are straight-up cruel. They really want people to just give up, not apply at all, and… I dunno, just die, I guess?
I’m sorry your girlfriend is having to go through that. I gotta be honest, I’ve never heard of someone having to reapply for benefits unless their benefits were turned off, either due to incarceration or failure to utilize their money so it piled up in an account until they had too many assets and were disqualified from the program. Also, all the correspondence for this benefit is typed and printed, I’ve never heard of anyone having to hand write anything. This is in reference to SSI (Supplemental Security Income).
The government totally puts up all kinds of blocks to obtaining SSI though, most people genuinely cannot do it themselves due to the complexity of the process
The forms state you must reapply every year and do so promptly or risk not getting benefits. No matter who you are or what your disability is (except maybe the terminally ill?). At every turn they remind you not being prompt enough may result in a delay or outright rejection of your application.
All of the handwriting together probably amounts to a 1-1.5 page paper/essay equivalent with freeform questions about the disability, background, what you can/can’t do, a detailed description of what you do day-to-day, doctor contact information, etc, and they’ll just call you for it again later when you already detailed everything in the application itself. And yeah, this is all mailed to you after the online application process that can take a couple hours.
It’s pretty awful, even considering how bad bureaucratic process can be.
Are you able to figure out exactly what benefit this is for? I’d be interested to hear. It’s def not SSI
£700/month without a mortgage to pay would be great. Its comparable to what I was earning from an apprenticeship when I first moved out once adjusted for inflation…
Sorry, you’re going to have to pay for housing too lol.
Oh, and if you work just a little, your benefit is decreased by the amount you earn, and if you earn more than $2500 in a year, the benefit is totally taken away.
So there is no incentive to get a part time job? Lol, what a dumb system.
It also goes away if you marry someone
It’s not dumb, it’s intentionally designed to hurt people
A few people here mentioning this has happened to someone they know. Does anyone have any successful transition to independence stories for older adults? There’s someone in my family that I love, but that pretty much fits this description. Does anyone have advice on what helps?
I’d start with making them understand that independence is good for everyone involved. Then small steps towards independence, starting with a simple part-time job. The important part here is that they see more people than just their direct family, to show them the different ways people can function in society.
If this works out, help them identify some personal goals. The hard part of being a shut-in is that you have no agency over your life, so you give up on all your goals. Once you have a little agency, you can start finding goals again. Simple ones at first: saving up some emergency funds, getting a driver’s license, making a weekend trip to get out of the house for a couple nights.
Also assuming they are classic shut-ins and not caretaker-type shut-ins: learning how to take care of the household, cooking, developing skills around the house. It’s low barrier to entry, they are already in the house after all.
Source: was a NEET for 5 years
Depends on how you define it. I knew a couple of guys who just grew up and did a boot camp and got programmer jobs, or took a job with their parent or friend of parents company. Also a few women, and one guy, who just married a wealthy spouse so they could continue to be moochers forever. One or two had their parents move out and give them the house while they did low-wage work.
I have never known anyone of the ‘basement dweller’ variety though, these are all wealthy folks from wealthy families who had tons of social connections. I met them in college/graduate school.
Also knew a couple of people who just never had a job and lived on poverty-income but from their inherited stock returns. They were into speed running games…